Weiss, Warriors and a Word from our Sponsors...
by FormerlyKnownAsRin
Summary: What happens when Weiss meets reboot... (Should it have happened?) Weiss in a virtual reality. Mild Shonen ai


"Weiss, Warriors and a Word from our Sponsors.."  
  
Author: Rin  
Category: Anime : Weiss Kreuz  
Censor: PG due to some minor language  
  
WARNINGS: mild Shounen-ai. I really only hint at it in this fic, but if you really don't like shounen-ai, then I suggest you don't read it! Pairings: Aya x Ken, Omi x ?  
  
Note: This is just a piece of fluff for my friends and my enjoyment, if you find it funny... well I guess it for your enjoyment too. Aside from being an avid Otaku, I am also a Reboot addict. Based on the Reboot episode "Wizards, Warriors and a Word from our Sponsor." using characters from Weiss Kreuz. Also, I don't have anythigng against Yohji, I swear! I just needed a Mike-the-tv character. (Oh, and the levels are SUPPOSED to skip like that!)  
Comments welcome, however any flames will be read, laughed at, and whapped to death with a shovel!  
  
Disclaimer: The characters from Weiss Kreuz and Reboot are not mine! (I don't remember who Weiss belongs to, but Reboot belongs to BLT/Mainframe!) I'm not getting anything for this, other than my own enjoyment. Please don't sue me, I'm just a student, and I have NO MONEY! None!  
  
***  
  
*Ken and Omi enter the flower shop, to find it deserted*  
  
Ken: Aya? *looks around* Strange....he said he'd be here.  
  
*Aya is hiding behind the counter*  
  
Aya: *puts a finger to his lips* Shhh! Go away! You'll give away my hiding place!  
  
*Omi and Ken exchange a worried glance*  
  
Omi: Aya? Are you feeling allright?  
  
Aya: *panicked* Quiet! Get down! Get down!!!  
  
Ken: Is it an attack? Is it Shriant?  
  
Omi: Is it Schwartz? Takatori?!!  
  
Aya: *shakes his head* NO, worse..much worse...*eyes widen* Oh no! He's coming!  
  
*Omi and Ken whirl around, and both of their faces become transfixed with horror*  
  
Aya/Ken/Omi: *scream*  
  
Yohji: It's eeeeeeeeeevrybody's favouriiiiiittttttte playboy! *grins* Yohji-the-love-god! *laughs*  
  
*Yohji is clutching a small, portable t.v.*  
  
Aya: Yohji! *turns to the other two assassins* He's been watching t.v all night again!  
  
Omi: *cringes remembering Yohji's last all-night t.v. binge* Can't we just kill him?!  
  
Aya: *appears to consider the idea for a moment, then shakes his head* No..unfortunately we need him on the team..  
  
Ken: *puts a hand on Aya's shoulder in support*  
  
*Aya and Ken exchange a significant, wordless glance*  
  
Omi: *smiles* Awww...  
  
*Ken and Aya, blush and look away*  
  
Aya: *clears his throat*  
  
Omi: *grumbles* Damn..why don't they just admit their feelings?  
  
Yohji: *completely oblivious to the whole situation* It's Bucket 'o Nothing! Surprise your friends, amaze your family, annoy perfect strangers! It's absolutely nothing...Free for only 99,99,99...  
  
Omi: *grumbles* He's already annoying us...  
  
Ken: Absolutely nothing...just like what goes on in Yohji's head.*sighs* We have GOT to stop letting him watch those infomercials!  
  
Yohji: *indignant* Hey! I heard that! *scowls*  
  
Ken: *attempting to make peace* Hey, Yotan...whats in the bag?  
  
Yohji: Huh? Oh! *grins* We have a new mission! *reaches into the back, handing Aya something black*  
  
Aya: *examines the object* Sun glasses?  
  
Omi: *blinks* Are we going to the beach?  
  
Yohji: *glares at his teammates* No! It's Virtual reality equipment!! *hands out the other vr glasses and vr sensor gloves* Put these on!  
  
Aya: *vein in forehead twitches* Virtual reality?!?  
  
Ken: You're kidding!  
  
Aya: *vein in forehead twitches*  
  
Omi: Cool!  
  
*Aya and Ken turn to the youngest member in the group and stare*  
  
Omi: *crosses his arms* Well, it is.  
  
Yohji: *grins* See? Omitchi has the right idea! *ruffles Omi's hair*  
  
Omi: *sighs* Don't do that!  
  
Yohji: *again, completely oblivious* It'll be our easiest mission yet!  
  
Ken: I don't believe this...  
  
Aya: *sighs* Well, after all, a mission is a mission...  
  
Ken: I have a bad feeling about this..  
  
*All the members of Weiss put on the goggles and gloves, which Yohji hooks up to a terminal*  
  
*scene changes. The Weiss guys are now standing in a field, surrounded by trees, standing in front to of a giant stone castle*  
  
Omi: Cool! Like dungeons and dragons! RPG!  
  
*Ken is dressed like a Wizard in the typical outfit, complete with pointy hat, made of blue spandex and covered with yellow stars. Omi is an elf, with the pointy ears and dressed in a green Robin Hood-style outfit, complete with little green hat. Aya is dressed in a slightly tattered brown outfit, with a hood. Yohji is nowhere to be seen.*  
  
Aya: *in disbelief* What?!!? A thief? I'm not the warrior? I'm always the warrior!  
  
Omi: Well, if you're not the warrior, then who is?  
  
*Yohji appears, dressed in a warrior's tunic, boot and a Viking helmet*  
  
Yohji: *spreads his arms* Da da da duh! Yohji, the mighty warrior! *flexes his muscles*  
  
Group: *sweatdrop*  
  
Yohji: What? *blinks*  
  
Aya: *ignores Yohji* This is bad...very bad! *Aya's gaze lands on Ken in the spandex*  
  
Omi: Aya?  
  
Aya: ...*eyes are glazed over*  
  
Ken: Ne...Aya? Daijoubu?  
  
Yohji: *is trying unsuccessfully to lift his sword* Erg....ack! Arrrrrrg! *there is a crash as Yohji tumbles over backwards*  
  
Aya: *blinks a few times* Right. *manages to drag his eyes away from spandex-covered-Ken*  
  
Aya: *reaches for Yohji's sword, and his hand passes right through it* Damnit! We're stuck like this...a thief can't use a warrior's weapon!  
  
Omi: *reaches for the wand Ken is holding and, like Aya, his hand also passes through it* And an elf can't use a wizard's weapon!  
  
Aya: *glares* Exactly! We're all stuck playing our roles...  
  
Yohji: What are you waiting for? *motions towards the castle* Enter now for your chance to win..  
  
Ken: Sorry Yohji..but we've seen the way you play rpgs...why don't you wait here and let us worry about winning, ok?  
  
Omi: Trust us..it's your only hope. Even Aya is better at rpgs than you are.  
  
Aya: *glares* Omi....  
  
Omi: *gulps* Ah gomen Aya-kun...That didn't come out right...  
  
Yohji: *puppy eyes* Shunned by his friends..ignored by his loved ones, abandoned by those he trusted the most...*sniffling noises*  
  
*Ken and Omi turn to Aya*  
  
Aya: *shakes his head* No! Not! Never! Nein! No way! Ix nay on the yes part! Negatory!  
  
Ken: *looks at Aya with pleading eyes*  
  
Omi: *watching Aya, and counting down the seconds until Aya gives in to Ken* '3...2....1..'  
  
Aya: *glares* Fine! Just stay out of our way..ok?!  
  
Yohji: *grins* Guaranteed to work behind the scenes so you don't have to! Out of sight or your money back!  
  
*A large head, a cross between a human face and monster is hanging above the doorway*  
  
Ken: What's that?  
  
Aya: Now there's an unhappy camper..  
  
Omi: Cool!  
  
Voice: To win the chalice, listen to me,...one in all, all in one, that's the key.  
  
Omi: Wow! Cool! Awesome..*turns to Ken* -uh..what does it mean?  
  
Ken: It's some kind of riddle.. maybe a clue...  
  
Aya: *considers* Or a trap..lets find out! *pushes on the door* Its stuck, give me a hand!  
  
*Ken and Omi join Aya in pushing against the door*  
  
Omi: *motions towards the door* C'mon Yohji.  
  
Yohji: Never fear, I'll save you!  
  
*Yohji pushes against the door, which under the combined force is pushed in, sending the Weiss boys falling.*  
  
All: *scream*  
  
*They land on a swiftly moving river, with the wood formerly known as door now acting as a raft*  
  
Omi: *looking green* Thanks Yohji...  
  
Aya: *glares* Nice..cozy..cheerful..  
  
Ken: *takes off his hat and reaches inside* Hey! A map! That must be the other team up ahead....*points at a glowing dot on the map* and this must be us here *points at the other glowing dot on the map* Interesting....  
  
Omi: *peers at the map* So, where exactly are we?  
  
Ken: Let see, *examines the map* according to this we're travelling down the Hopeless River of Eternal Imprisonment, the final resting place of all those who fail to win the chalice!  
  
Aya: Nice...*rolls his eyes* and _where_ are we headed?  
  
Ken: Well, it looks like someplace called the Vicious Pit of Total Oblivion. *eyes widen in fear*  
  
*Group looks to see that they are suddenly at the edge of a waterfall*  
  
Aya: Oh, shi-  
  
*the rest of Aya's curse is drowned out by the raft going over the waterfall*  
  
*Aya is clinging to the edge, Ken is hanging onto his legs, Omi is hanging onto Ken's legs, and Yohji is hanging onto Omi*  
  
Yohji: Will Aya's strength hold out? Will our heroes be dashed in the pit of horror! Tune in next time for another exciting episode of that darn wacky, crazy dungeon, brought to you by-  
  
Aya: Yohji!  
  
Yohji: *looks at Aya expectantly*  
  
Ken: Would you just climb up?  
  
Level 2:  
  
*They enter the next room. Yohji slams the door behind them causing them to jump*  
  
Aya/Ken/Omi: Yohji!  
  
Aya: *sighs* Its just more doors...  
  
Ken: Why don't we try that one!  
  
*there is another crash*  
  
Aya: Yohji! Cut it out!  
  
Yohji: *blinks in confusion* ...  
  
Ken: That wasn't you?  
  
*two giant armoured soldiers are advancing towards them*  
  
Aya: Prepare to Taste the blade of my- *reaches for his katana and pulls out* -butter knife?! *stares at the butter knife in disbelief*  
  
Aya: *turns to Ken* Do something!  
  
Ken: *waves wand uncertainly* Abraca-aya-is-sexy- watch-macutz-dabracallit!!  
  
*the two giant armoured soldiers are now four slightly smaller soldiers, still advancing towards the guys*  
  
Yohji: Wait, there's more...two for the price of one!  
  
Ken: *blushes* Oops!  
  
Aya: Nice going Merlin.  
  
*the armoured soldiers continue to advance*  
  
Aya: *thinking* Quick, try it again!  
  
Ken: Abraca-aya-is-sexy- watchma-cutz- dabracallit!  
  
*the two armoured soldiers split into smaller armoured soldiers who continue to advance*  
  
Aya: Again!  
  
Ken: Abraca-aya-is-sexy-watchma-cutz-dabracallit!  
  
*all the soldier are now only a few inches tall*  
  
Aya: *gets a gleam in his eyes and he and Omi begin to squish the little soldiers*  
  
Yohji: Aya is keeping the hordes at bay..but for how long ladies and gentlemen...for how long.. for how lon-  
  
Ken: *waves wand and a zipper shuts Yohji's lips*  
  
Ken: Alright..let gets going! This way!  
  
Omi: I think its this way! *points towards a door*  
  
Ken: *raises a cautionary hand* Lets stop and think about this first...  
  
Aya: Look the only way to figure it out is to try one...  
  
*opens a door, all scream. Pale faced, Aya slams the door*  
  
Aya: Woah!  
  
*Omi is in Yohji's arms, and they are clinging to each other. Both are equally embarrassed*  
  
Yohji: Get away from me boy, you bother me! *drops Omi on the floor*  
  
*Ken and Aya look pale*  
  
Yohji: *chooses a door at random* Allright folks..step right up..don't be late for the next level!  
  
Level 13:  
  
Aya: *hears a strange sound* What do you suppose that means..  
  
*A giant spider appears in the centre of the stairwell*  
  
Aya: Oh! That's what.  
  
Spider: Hiss!  
  
*the sound of a woman screaming.....turns out to be Yohji*  
  
Group: *sweatdrop*  
  
Ken: Uh..I think we're in trouble...*reaches for his wand*  
  
*Aya leaps onto the silk webbing above the spider, and begins to cut at the ropes with the butter knife. The spider turns and moves towards Aya. Aya continues to cut at the webbing. The spider is about to bite Aya's legs, when he slices through the webbing. The spider falls screeching out of sight*  
  
Aya: *lets go of the remaining webbing, and lands back on the stairwell* That was easy enough! *brushes off his hands*  
  
Ken: *mouth drops open in shock*  
  
Level 31:  
  
*Three giant warrior carrots, in armour are advancing towards the group*  
  
Aya: *smiles in anticipation. He grabs a carrot's spear and advances on the carrot warriors*  
  
Yohji: Operate, now? Surely you can't be serious!  
  
*Within seconds the attack carrots are reduced to peelings, sticks and round slices.  
  
Yohji: *grins* He slices...he dices...he cuts Julienne fries!  
  
Aya: *glares* Yohji!  
  
Yohji: *looks crestfallen. Then grabs a carrot stick and starts eating as the group moves on*  
  
Level 23:  
  
Yohji: No matter where they ran..no matter where they turned...there was simply no way out.!  
  
Aya: Yohji!  
  
Level 37:  
  
*Aya, Ken and Omi are stuck back to back on a four square foot spire in the centre of a deep pit. There is barely enough room for the three of them, and poor Yohji is hanging desperately from the edge, feet dangling.*  
  
Ken: Oh no! We didn't hear the riddle for this level!  
  
Aya: Oh sure...like that solved all our problems last time!  
  
Ken: *glares* It would probably be a lot easier if we could figure out these riddles, Aya!  
  
Omi: Would you two grow up?! *grumbles* They're like an old married couple...and they're not even a couple  
yet!  
  
Level 42:  
  
*the Weiss guys are attacked by a water monster*  
  
Ken: *waves wand and the monster is turned into solid ice*  
  
Aya: Stay frosty! *Aya slips on the ice*  
  
Level 53:  
  
*Omi readies his bow and arrow as Aya carefully opens the door.*  
  
Omi: Watch and learn!  
  
*Omi shoots head off ghost armour with a clown-face arrow. The ghost armour crashes to the ground*  
  
  
Level 58:  
  
*The Weiss guys are running away from flying eyeball with 7 tentacles*  
  
Level 65:  
  
*the Weiss guys are now riding a banana (yes, a banana!) through the halls of the Dungeon.*  
  
Aya: What level is this?  
  
Ken: *thinking* Uh- 65! Only one more to go and we're running out of time...  
  
Yohji: Is this banana giving anyone else ideas?  
  
Omi: *blushes and smacks Yohji on the back of the head* BAKA! We don't have time for this right now!  
  
*A giant skull-headed monster begins chasing them through the tunnel*  
  
Ken: *looks back in time to see a stream of fire come out of the monster's mouth, headed right towards them*  
  
  
Ken: Look out! *in disgust* Oh sure! It just has to breathe FIRE too!!  
  
Omi: Why not? A fire- breathing skull fits right in with shadow worms, living rock piles, killer puddles, haunted laundry, battle carrots, armoured-  
  
Aya: Watch out! Traps ahead!  
  
*The Weiss guys are knocked off the banana. They start to run when a wall falls, cutting Aya off from the rest of the team. Ken, Omi, and Yohji continue on, racing through a hallway peppered with arrows, swinging axes, trap door, and a force field made of pansies. They arrive, breathless at the end of the corridor, to see Aya, relaxing casually on the floor at their feet, with absolutely no indication of how he managed to beat them there.*  
  
Aya: Did you miss me?  
  
*Ken opens his mouth to say something, when the floor drops out from beneath them*  
  
Aya: Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-  
  
*the rest of Aya's curse is drowned out by the fall*  
  
  
Level 66:  
  
*The guys land in a room, with no floor in the centre. On either side of the pit in the middle of the room are two narrow walkways, leading to a door on the other side of the room.*  
  
Ken: This is it! The last level!  
  
Omi: Finally, we made it!!!  
  
*The guys begin to walk across one of the walkways, heading towards the other side of the room. A monster made entirely of shadow, emerges from the light of a candlestick perched in the wall, and grabs Ken by his shadow*  
  
Ken: *cries out as he is thrown over the pit, across the room*  
  
Aya: KEN!  
  
Omi: *is also flung across the room, and is thrown into the wall. He hits the wall, and slides to the floor, a few feet away from Ken*  
  
*The shadow monster turns its attention to Aya*  
  
Aya: I don't think so!  
  
Ken: *slipping* Aya!!!  
  
Aya: *looks up to see Ken slipping* Oh boy!  
  
*Aya dives across the room, landing near the edge of the pit, just as Ken loses his grip. As Ken starts to fall, Aya grabs onto his arm, catching him. Chocolate brown eyes meet purple eyes, and Aya winks, causing Ken to smile*  
  
Aya: Are you okay?  
  
Ken: *nods* Yeah.  
  
Aya: *smiles* Good. *he pulls Ken out of the pit*  
  
*The three turn their attention back to where Yohji is 'fighting' the shadow monster*  
  
Omi: Yohji's our only hope!  
  
*Yohji is backing away from the monster*  
  
Aya: Oh yeah, we're done for!  
  
Yohji: *takes a deep breath,.....and blows out the candle on the wall*  
  
*the whole rooms engulfed in darkness. With all light gone from the room, the monster disappears*  
  
Aya: I don't believe it...he's a genius!  
  
Omi: Alright Yohji!  
  
Ken: Of course, the light!!!! Where'd you get a crazy  
idea like that!  
  
Yohji: *menacing voice* Only on BMMN.The Bad Monster  
Movie Network! I like that..  
  
Aya: I think we owe you an apology Yohji...  
  
Omi/Ken: Yeah!  
  
Yohji: Awwwwwww! Somebody give me a hug!!  
  
Voice: To win the chalice, listen to me,...one in all, all in one, that's the key.  
  
Aya: *growls* This guy is really starting to bother me...  
  
*the floor on the walkway behind them begins to crumble*  
  
Yohji: And thats not all...act now or be plunged into eternal bottomlessness... lessness... lessness...  
  
*the group runs towards the door at the end of the room, reach the door and run through it. They find themselves standing in a round, mirrored room, with a gold, stanley-cup look alike in the centre of the room*  
  
Omi: Wow! That must be the chalice!  
  
New voice: I don't think so, pal.  
  
*all turn to see Crawford, dressed just like Aya emerge through a mirror in the wall*  
  
Ken: We're in trouble, aren't we?  
  
Aya: Go for the chalice!  
  
*Aya tackles Crawford, sending them through the mirror, into the other side*  
  
*Schuldich, dressed to match Yohji, Nagi dressed to match Omi and Farfello, dressed to match Ken (yes, that means Farfie is in spandex...) step through the mirrors*  
  
*Farfello advances towards Ken*  
  
*Yohji is being chased by Schuldich*  
  
Yohji: And there they go!  
  
Ken: Take that! *traps Farfello into a bottle* Now we know who the real wizard is..  
  
Farfello: *turns back to normal and grins* Magic hurts God! *points his wand at Ken. Ken is transformed into a Picasso painting, with Ken's features*  
  
Ken: *eyes blink* Wow, he's good!  
  
Aya: *being sat on by Crawford* Ken! Do something!  
  
Ken: *mutters* That's easy for you to say!  
  
Yohji: *reaches into his coat and pulls out....*  
  
Farfello: *blinks his one eye* A portable tv?  
  
T.V: The love hospital....your prescription for romance!  
  
Farfello: *screams* NO!!! *turns in terror and runs back through the mirror*  
  
Ken: *breaks the spell on himself and turns back to normal* Yohji, you did it!  
  
*Yohji, looking extremely proud of himself, doesn't notice Schu sneaking up behind him*  
  
Ken: *points his wand at Schu* Oh yeah?! *Ken's eyes narrow*  
  
*Schu is turned into a soccer ball, which Ken proceeds to kick back through the mirror*  
  
Omi: Help!  
  
*Nagi has Omi tied up and placed an apple on his head, and is aiming an arrow at him. Ken proceeds to knock Nagi back through the mirror*  
  
*Aya and Crawford continue to fight.*  
  
Yohji: *pulls out his precious portable t.v.* Don't touch that dial, you're tuned to the commercial channel, all commercials, all the time...an eternity of useless products to rot your scheming little mind...forever!  
  
Crawford: *screams and runs back through the mirror*  
  
*The Weiss guys assemble around the chalice, lift the lid, and Yohji picks it up and suddenly they find themselves back in the flower shop*  
  
Yohji: See wasn't that great?!? *grins*  
  
*the three other assassins are frantically pulling off the v.r. equipment*  
  
Aya: *advances on Yohji with his Katana*  
  
Ken: Aya....  
  
Aya: *glares, but lets the katana drop*  
  
Ken: *whispers something in Aya's ear, and Aya blinks then grins*  
  
Yohji: Now, this calls for celebration....I think I'll watch some t.v.!!  
  
Omi: *opens his mouth to protest but is cut off by  
Aya*  
  
Aya: Sure Yotan...go ahead!  
  
Yohji: *skips off happily clinging to his portable  
t.v.set*  
  
Omi: But Aya-kun....  
  
Aya: *distracted* Omi...can you mind the store for a while....  
  
Omi: But-  
  
Aya: *grins* Thanks! *grabs Ken's hand, and pulls the laughing brunette towards the stairs. The two disappear from sight*  
  
Omi: *standing alone* ... This sucks. *leans on the counter* Aya-kun gets Ken-kun....Yohji gets his t.v..and what do I get?  
  
*the bell over the door chimes, and Omi looks up*  
  
Omi: Hi! Welcome, I- *he stops, recognizing a blushing Nagi*  
  
Nagi: Uh..Omi-kun...I was wondering of maybe..you could forgive me for that whole arrow thing and well....*trails off*maybe we could..uh...you know....  
  
Omi: *grins* I think maybe I could forgive you!  
  
Nagi: Really?! Great!  
  
Omi: *flips the sign to say CLOSED*  
  
  
The End  
  



End file.
